My Lord
by Anatkh
Summary: So will I grow, so live, so die, my lord... Unto his Lordship... My soul consents" Bellatrix's induction to the Death Eaters


_It wasn't meant to be like this..._ thought Bella as she put her face in her hands. She couldn't cry, no, she refused to cry. She would avoid anything that showed that she felt pain. Why should she feel this sort of pain.

"_It's not like it's real... You know it was foolish to wish for this, Bella."_

The words echoed in her head loud as the blood dripping from her legs. She wanted to scream out in a combination of pain and enjoyment of the pain. Tears clogged her vision, her dark eyelashes damp with wanton anger.

"Why?" she muttered through clenched teeth. "It's not like he disagrees with it... Why me?" She continued to mutter things that made little sense.

Pacing she felt ill at ease and felt voided.

Sitting back down on the chair, Bella placed her head on the cold wall, hoping that it would cool her down, both in bodily temperature and in her mind. Her pulse was pounding loudly in her ears and she could no longer see anything besides red... _red... red..._

"Bella."

The whisper was so soft that Bella hardly heard it, for a moment she thought that she had dreamt the voice. But then she felt the stirring of someone sitting up in the other side of the bed. As she felt the bristly touch of an unshaven cheek against her neck and the kiss on the nape of her neck, she realised that this wasn't a dream, yet somehow, it was better.

"Rodolphus," she murmured, rolling over onto her side she faced her husband and pressed her soft body against his. Draping an arm over his neck, she kissed him deeply on the lips. Clearly this was what he wanted.

Pulling away, Rodolphus shook his head. Shocked, Bellatrix looked at her husband. For once, what she had thought he wanted wasn't what he wanted.

"What's the matter," she asked in a subtle manner, trying to mask her intentions. "I thought-"

He shook his head again. "No, Bella," he kissed her, "I, I need to go." He got up out of bed and shuffled around on the floor looking for his wizard robes.

Sighing, Bella looked at her husband's form illuminated in the moonlight. His bare back shone silvery and his chestnut hair that brushed his shoulders shook as he pulled up his robes. Seeing him clothed made Bella almost feel let down; she had been expecting something else.

"What's that?" she snapped after glimpsing something on Rodolphus' forearm.

The question was rhetorical. Both of them knew the answer to it, but Rodolphus pulled his sleeve down and pretended not to hear his wife.

"I asked you what is that!" commanded Bella giving more of an order than a request.

Glancing over at his wife, Rodolphus frowned slightly.

"You did it-"

"Bella," cooed Rodolphus kneeling down beside the bed and taking his wife's hands in his. He kissed her knuckles. "I had to. As a Lestrange it's my duty."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Her voice was cold and she pulled her hand out of his grasp.

"Because I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what you would say-" began Rodolphus.

"I'd say take me with you," moaned Bella, letting the sheet fall off of her shoulders, so her pale skin was illuminated by the moon. "As I'm saying now. Please, Rodolphus, do not let me down." She held up her hand and traced his jaw with a long finger. "You've let me down before." Her tone was her most seductive one she had ever used. Bringing her finger to his lips, Bella ran her fingers across his concerned frown. "But my Rodolphus wouldn't let me down this time."

Clearing his throat, Rodolphus stood up and Bella smirked upon seeing the effectiveness of her seduction. Sensing her gaze, Rodolphus gave an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, but what you want is too dangerous."

"Take me with you," she moaned, sitting upright. The sheet fell completely off her upper body, allowing Rodolphus to see the full majesty of his wife in the light of the moon. Her right arm propped her whole body up, her hips at a most obscene angle. "You know that this is what I have wanted for the longest time, Rodolphus."

"The Dark Lord wouldn't allow a woman. Do what your sister does, she's active enough."

Indignant, Bellatrix brushed her black hair out of her eyes. "My sister is weak," she spat. "Her fate and mine are not the same. She wants different things than I. How could you suggest that someone as powerful and beautiful as I have to stoop to her level. I refuse to be the wife at home wondering where you are when you go to kill. Take me with you, let me fight. I want to be there at your side as you smite the mudbloods. I shall act as both the partner-in-crime and the wife to welcome you home after your success."

Reluctantly, Rodolphus turned around and gestured to her closet. "Find some black robes. Your blackest, hooded robes. Make sure that it won't reveal your identity or that you are a woman. I don't want to put you in any more danger than you have to be."

As she walked past him, he caught her hand. "I'd rather that you didn't do this."

She kissed him. "And I'm happy that you taking me with you."

The night was dark, and the place where they were meeting even darker, since here, the moon never shined. Deep within a forest, there was no sound but for the occasional wolf or wind blowing through the trees. The dark was only deeper in the chamber under the roots of a tree under the old forest.

It was the moment that the spell was cast did she see him. Her Lord and Master. She knew what to do before the others bowed. Stooping low to the ground, she knew that Jesus could not have been worshiped by anyone as much as she worshipped her Lord.

"Lestrange," her Lord said in a voice almost like a hiss.

Bella nearly stood up, but then she realised that the command had been to her husband who stood up, but still stooped. "Yes my Lord," he whispered.

"Who is this by your side to whom your thoughts often turn to?"

His thin lips were stretched almost into a smile as he looked at Bella, who tried not to stare at those beautiful red eyes.

"No one," lied Rodolphus.

"Liar." The Dark Lord raised his wand as if he would cruse Rodolphus.

Quickly standing up, Bella answered. "Lestrange, Bellatrix." Her voice was stern, determined and as cold as the eyes that the Dark Lord pinned her with.

"What is a woman doing here?"

The question addressed the whole room, but Bella choose to answer it. "To serve you, my Lord," she vowed bowing low once again. "For there is none in the world more powerful than you. It is you who should purged the world of foul muggles who clog blood lines casing them to run murkier than mud."

A shrill laugh pierced the stagnant air. "That's why we call them Mudbloods, Lestrange."

Tentatively a few Death Eaters laughed.

"That was not permission to laugh," snapped the Dark Lord. The laughter was stifled. "You allegiance doesn't matter, Mrs. Lestrange. I've heard of woman who support the cause. None would put their life, or another's on the line like you. Why should I trust you with something that I know you could never handle."

"Because I'm not like them-"

"You are just like them," spat the Dark Lord. He wrapped his thin and long fingers around her wrist. "Fine, I shall interrogate you in The Room."

A hushed murmur trembled through the crowd. Despite the worried sound of their voices, Bellatrix stood fast and refused to back down. "I shall-"

Before she could finish her response she was being shoved into a room the size of a small water closet.

"Lumos," murmured Voldemort.

For an instant, Bella was able to see her surroundings and realised that it was a large closest or very small room with only a chair with chains. As Voldemort muttered the conterspell, he forced her down onto the chair.

"My Lord-"

"You've got nerve to come here, girl," snarled the Dark Lord. "A woman has no place among my Death Eaters. This is meant to be a place for muggle killers not little girls or mothers."

Opening her mouth to protest, Bella was interrupted.

"It doesn't matter if it's a pureblood child," hissed the Dark Lord, looking down at Bella. "A pregnant woman will never become a Death Eater. Women who are determined to become mothers do not understand the fact that the dangers that you face will only hurt you. Once you have a child, your emotions will change. You're not going to want to kill."

"My Lord, my feelings will not change," protested Bella.

"I know, you're pregnant and that changes nothing."

"My Lord, how do you know, pray tell. Rodolphus doesn't even know. I'm only four weeks-"

He spat in her face. "I can tell things about you just by looking at you that you will never you yourself, bitch."

Wiping the acidic spittle off of her face, Bella looked intently at her Master, refusing to break away and show weakness. "I will not falter, my Lord."

"How can I be sure, Bella?" he crooned, calling her by her christian name for the first time. "There is only one way I can make sure..."

Before she could protest, he pointed his wand at her womb and muttered something she couldn't hear.

Instantly pain beyond anything she had ever felt before shot through her lower body. A thousand knives were in her body slashing her open. Blood dripped onto the floor, and Bella let out a moan of pain. She couldn't breathe, the pain made it so that her head spun and darkness clouded her eyes. Vomit clung to her lips. Her whole body wanted to be turned inside out.

Somehow the pain stopped and she looked down to where Voldemort's wand was sticking into her forearm.

"Master?" she asked weakly.

Suddenly, a skull began to form on her skin. The skull opened it's mouth and vomited out a snake.

"Congratulations, Bella," laughed the Dark Lord. "You've passed."

"Master-"

"It's not like it's real... You know it was foolish to wish for this, Bella." With that, he left the room.

The blood still pouring down her inner legs, Bella tried to stand up, but was forced to sit down from the sudden stab of pain. This was what Rodolphus had warned her about.

_Truly,_ thought Bella, _I am insane._ She traced the out line of the Dark Mark burned into her arm by the wand of the Dark Lord.

"He's a monster," moaned Bella, touching the place where someone should have been. "I am a monster for secretly wanting this. Does desire cause this much pain? Why are we made to have such ambitions?"

She turned around and saw Rodolphus standing in the door way of the room.

Suddenly tears stun her eyes. "I'm sorry," she rasped and fell to the floor.


End file.
